You Make Me Feel So Dead Read online

  ‘That’s not too hard to understand.’

  ‘Well, he’s coming to town to promote Viva Las Vegas with Ann-Margret.’

  ‘Tough work.’

  ‘The problem is, he’s bringing the Memphis Mafia with him,’ Frank said.

  ‘What’s that? Like his Summit? Or a biker gang?’

  Frank laughed derisively and said, ‘Not even close. They’re a bunch of no-talent losers who enable all of his bad habits.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like pills.’

  ‘Elvis has a habit?’

  ‘He’s well on his way to having a habit, according to the Colonel,’ Frank said. ‘He’s also looking for a new religion.’

  ‘New religion?’

  ‘He used to sing in the choir when he was a kid,’ Frank said, ‘but since the death of his mother he’s having second thoughts about God.’

  ‘Sounds like he’s pretty mixed up.’

  ‘He is,’ Frank said, ‘and the Colonel is afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble while he’s here.’

  Uh-oh. I sensed a babysitting job coming.

  ‘Frank—’

  ‘Now, don’t say anything,’ Frank said. ‘I know you’re about to turn this gig down.’

  ‘Gig? Are you offering to pay me?’

  ‘Hell, no,’ Frank said. ‘We’re pals. But the Colonel, he wants to meet you, and if you take the job, he’ll pay you.’

  ‘Wait a minute,’ I said. ‘Colonel Parker is here?’

  ‘Well, not in the hotel,’ Frank said. ‘In fact, he’s not even in Las Vegas. He rented a house out by Lake Mead.’

  ‘So where does he want to meet me?’

  ‘Out there,’ Frank said. ‘He doesn’t want Elvis to find out he’s here. They’ve been having enough trouble lately without the kid thinking the Colonel is spying on him.’

  ‘So he wants to hire me to do the spying?’

  ‘As far as Elvis knows, you’ll be showing him around town,’ Frank said, ‘because you and I are friends.’

  ‘It’s still a babysitting job, Frank.’

  ‘Don’t you want to meet the King, Eddie?’ Frank asked.

  ‘Come on, Frank,’ I said, ‘you know you’re the King.’

  ‘Don’t kiss my ass, Eddie,’ Frank said, but he was amused.

  THREE

  The last time I’d been out to Lake Mead I’d stayed in a cabin with Marilyn Monroe. This time, I didn’t find a cabin when I got there, but an impressive two-story house with a rustic deck surrounding it. On the deck stood a man wearing a pale grey suit and a matching cowboy hat.

  Colonel Tom Parker was in his mid-fifties, not an overly tall man, with a slight paunch and double chin. For years he claimed to have been born in the US, but in fact he was born Andreas Cornelis van Kuijk in Breda, Netherlands. He did not, however, speak with any sort of accent.

  I parked, got out of the Caddy and walked to the foot of the steps.

  ‘Mr Gianelli?’ he asked, looking down at me.

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘Come on up, then,’ he said. ‘Thank you very much for coming.’

  I went up the steps to join him on the deck. He was holding a glass of amber liquid.

  ‘Would you like a drink?’

  It had been a long ride from Vegas and I was a bit dry.

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘I’ll have what you’re having.’

  ‘Ice tea,’ he said. ‘I’ll be right back.’

  I was surprised when he came back with the drink himself. I’d expected to find him ensconced in such a house with lots of domestic help.

  ‘There you go,’ he said, handing me the sweating glass. ‘Have a seat.’

  There was a solid wooden table with matching chairs on the deck. I sat, and he sat across from me. There was a slight breeze since we were near the lake, and it stirred the ends of the western string tie he was wearing.

  ‘I appreciate you coming out to see me,’ he said.

  ‘Well,’ I said, ‘Frank asked me to do it, as a favor.’

  ‘I also appreciate that,’ he said. ‘Frank’s a good friend.’

  ‘He is that.’

  ‘Did he tell you why I wanted to see you?’

  ‘Frank said he’d leave that to you.’

  ‘Good, good,’ Parker said. ‘I don’t want this to come out wrong, and it might … uh, I mean, coming from someone other than me.’

  ‘I’m all ears,’ I said, sipping the tea.

  ‘There are a lot of people who think I control Elvis Presley,’ Parker said. ‘They couldn’t be more wrong. Elvis controls Elvis. He makes his own decisions.’

  ‘Based on your advice.’

  He hesitated, then said, ‘Yes. He takes financial advice from me. He takes artistic advice from no one. He picks the songs he’s going to record, and the venues he’s going to play.’

  ‘I feel a “but” coming.’

  ‘But … he has friends, hangers-on, who are …’ He was at a loss for words.

  ‘Leading him astray?’

  ‘Let’s say that.’

  ‘OK,’ I agreed, ‘let’s.’

  ‘He’s coming to town to promote Viva Las Vegas, and he’s bringing them with him. I’d like to make sure he doesn’t take a wrong turn.’

  ‘Colonel Parker,’ I said, ‘I’m just a guy from Brooklyn. I’m gonna need you to talk a little plainer to me.’

  He leaned forward and looked at me earnestly. I had heard that Parker always had the air of a showman, a carnival barker, but now he appeared to be deadly serious.

  ‘The boy is on the verge of making some disastrous choices,’ he said, ‘involving religion, business, and maybe … drugs.’

  ‘What kind of drugs?’ I asked.

  ‘I can’t give you the names, but believe me, they’re the bad kind.’

  ‘Not prescription, then?’

  ‘Some, maybe, but not all,’ Parker said.

  ‘And what about religion?’

  Parker sat back, squinted at me.

  ‘Since his mother died he’s been looking for … something. Comfort, I suppose. I’m afraid he might end up involved with some kind of cult, maybe Hare Krishnas, or worse.’

  I sat back, placed my half finished ice tea on the table.

  ‘What do you want me to do, Colonel?’

  ‘Frank tells me you’re the Man in Las Vegas,’ Parker said. ‘You got this town wired. If anybody can keep Elvis out of trouble, it’s you.’

  ‘I can’t babysit him, if that’s what you want, Colonel.’

  ‘I don’t want you to babysit him, Mr Gianelli,’ Parker said. ‘I want you to be his friend.’

  FOUR

  Elvis Presley’s friend?

  That was quite a thought. True, I’d never expected to become friends with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr. Then again, working at the Sands I’d become friendly with other celebrities like Joey Bishop, Richard Conte, Nat King Cole – actors, singers, other kinds of performers.

  But Elvis? The young King of Rock ’n Roll?

  There was a mystique about Elvis, probably fostered by Colonel Tom Parker. But right now Parker sounded more like a worried parent. Could it be he looked on Elvis as a son, rather than a commodity to be managed?

  ‘I think you want me to give Elvis a little more than friendship, Colonel.’

  ‘Seems to me you’re about ten or twelve years older than Elvis, Mr Gianelli.’

  ‘Just call me Eddie, Colonel,’ I said, ‘and yes, about that.’

  ‘Well, you’d be a better friend – even a big brother type – to him than that bunch he’s running with.’

  ‘The Memphis Mafia?’

  Parker closed his eyes. ‘I hate that name. The press gave it to them. I’m talking about Red and Sonny West, Marty Lacker, Larnar Fike. And a few others. They’re all coming with him. He gives them anything they want. He gives them things they don’t want, like cars, televisions. They don’t even have to ask.’

  ‘He’s generous,’ I said.
‘Everybody knows that. He gave Sammy Davis an expensive belt buckle.’

  ‘That’s true,’ Parker said, ‘but Sammy Davis isn’t leading him down the garden path. Sammy Davis isn’t supplying him with pills to get up, and pills to get down.’

  ‘Speed?’ I asked.

  ‘Among other things.’

  Suddenly, he was able to name something.

  ‘Look,’ Parker said, ‘he’s coming to town to promote the film. I don’t want him getting his name in the papers for anything … bad.’

  ‘I’ve got a question.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Is Ann-Margret also coming to town?’

  ‘She is.’

  ‘She and Elvis were supposed to have been lovers while they were filming the movie,’ I said. ‘Was that true?’

  Parker hesitated, then said, ‘Yes.’

  ‘Are they still lovers?’

  ‘They haven’t seen each other for some time, but since they’ll be in town together, and they are both … volatile people … I expect they’ll pick up where they left off.’

  ‘You don’t expect me to keep him away from her, do you?’

  ‘Of course not,’ Parker said. ‘She’s a sweet kid. I’d rather Elvis spend time with her than with his buddies.’

  ‘If I agree to do this,’ I said, ‘what are you going to tell Elvis about me?’

  ‘That you’re friends with Frank, and Frank wants Elvis to have a good time in Vegas. Elvis likes and respects Frank.’

  ‘So he’ll go for it?’

  ‘He’ll just look at you as another potential buddy,’ Parker said. ‘He likes having people around him.’

  ‘What about the others? How are they going to greet me?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Maybe with suspicion. It’ll be up to you to make them accept you.’

  ‘How long is Elvis supposed to be in town?’

  ‘A couple of weeks. He’ll promote the movie, and do a few performances at the Riviera.’

  ‘And where will you be all that time?’

  ‘Right here. I have several new deals brewing and have to go over the contracts.’

  ‘So if I need to talk to you …’

  ‘… I’ll be available, right here. Any time. Day or night.’

  ‘Will you be here alone?’

  ‘I will. I’ll have someone bring in supplies for me.’ He picked up his glass and drained it.

  ‘Cooking for yourself?’

  ‘A little,’ Parker said. ‘I also have a freezer filled with TV dinners. I’ll be fine. What do you say, Mr— Eddie. Eddie G., right? Is that what they call you?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘I’d really like you to do this,’ Parker said. ‘I can pay you well.’

  ‘That won’t be necessary, Colonel,’ I said, standing up. ‘I don’t usually charge anyone for doing Frank Sinatra a favor.’

  ‘I’d prefer to have you on the payroll,’ he said. ‘It would make our … relationship clear.’

  ‘I have one boss, Colonel,’ I said. ‘Jack Entratter at the Sands. I’ll do this as a favor, or you’ll have to get somebody else.’

  Parker smiled. ‘I never had anyone argue with me not to take my money.’

  ‘Hey,’ I said, spreading my hands, ‘this is Vegas.’

  FIVE

  After seeing Colonel Parker and agreeing to ‘chaperone’ – for want of a better word – Elvis around Vegas I returned to my house and called the Sands, first to talk to Jack Entratter.

  ‘So you agreed?’ he asked.

  ‘I agreed.’

  ‘I knew it,’ Entratter said. ‘How long is this gonna keep you off the floor?’

  ‘A couple of weeks, at least. Hopefully, that won’t cause you too much trouble.’

  ‘We’ll try to get along without you, Eddie,’ Jack said. ‘By the way, where’s Elvis gonna be staying?’

  ‘The Riviera.’

  Entratter made a rude sound with his mouth.

  ‘Is he performing, also?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘the Colonel said he’s going to do a few shows.’

  ‘All right,’ Entratter said. I knew he had tried to get Elvis for the Sands a couple of times, and failed. He wasn’t a happy camper. ‘Stay in touch with me, Eddie. And let me know if you need anything.’

  ‘I will, Jack.’

  I hung up, called the Sands again and spoke to Frank.

  ‘So Parker convinced you?’ Frank said.

  ‘He did.’

  ‘Good,’ Frank said. ‘I know you’ll keep the kid out of trouble.’

  ‘Frank, I’ll be on this job for about two weeks. You gonna be in town?’

  ‘Not that long, but I told Elvis I’d come to his premier and bring the guys.’

  ‘Dino?’

  ‘And Sammy. Maybe Joey.’

  ‘Peter?’

  He didn’t answer. He and Peter were still on the outs.

  ‘I’m also gonna go to one of his shows, so yeah, I’ll be around – although I’ll be at the Cal Neva in Tahoe part of the time.’

  ‘OK,’ I said. ‘Then I’ll see you around.’

  ‘Hey, Eddie?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Don’t try to keep up with the kid,’ he said. ‘He can go all night. You ought to get some help, like your PI buddy, Bardini, or Jerry.’

  ‘Maybe Jerry,’ I said. ‘He’d get a thrill out of meeting Elvis.’

  ‘And Bardini wouldn’t?’

  ‘Not a fan,’ I said. ‘Talk to you soon, Frank.’

  ‘See ya around, Clyde.’

  After we hung up I decided to go out and get something to eat. I wanted a leisurely meal, over which I’d decide whether or not to import Jerry for this job. But before I could get out the door my phone rang.

  ‘Eddie?’

  ‘Hey, Danny.’

  ‘Can you meet me at the Horseshoe?’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, ‘I was about to get something to eat, anyway.’

  ‘On me, then.’

  ‘You must need me for a job real bad to buy,’ I kidded.

  ‘Not a job, Eddie,’ Danny said. ‘I need your help with something personal.’

  He wasn’t kidding around so I said, ‘I’ll be there, Danny. When?’

  ‘Right now.’

  SIX

  The coffee shop at the Horseshoe was one of the best in town. It was also walking distance from Danny’s Fremont Street office.

  Danny Bardini was already sitting in a booth when I got there, with a cup of coffee in front of him. His hair was a mess and needed cutting, and his suit was wrinkled, as if he’d slept in it.

  ‘Hey, Eddie,’ he said, looking up at me. ‘Thanks for coming.’

  ‘It sounded important,’ I said, sitting across from him.

  ‘It is.’

  The waitress came over and we both ordered a burger platter. It was easier than taking the time to study the menu. The food – though really good – was not the main reason we were there.

  ‘What’s going on, Danny?’

  He took a moment to sip some coffee, then held the cup in both hands.

  ‘OK, here it is,’ he said. ‘It’s about Penny.’

  ‘What about her?’ I asked. ‘Is she all right?’ Penny O’Grady was Danny’s long-time secretary – Gal Friday, really – who had more than secretarial feelings for her boss. I believed it was the same for him, but he had never admitted it.

  ‘Something’s going on with her,’ Danny said. ‘She’s been very … secretive lately. Leaving early, coming in late. Unavailable in the evenings.’

  ‘Have you asked her?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Have you followed her?’

  Danny hesitated, then said, ‘No, I haven’t. I–I can’t do it.’

  Uh-oh.

  ‘But you can.’

  ‘Danny—’

  ‘Eddie,’ he said, reaching across the table to grab my wrist, ‘you gotta do this for me.’

  ‘Why don’t you just talk to her?’
/>   ‘No,’ he said, releasing my arm. ‘If she wanted to talk to me she would have by now.’

  ‘So what do you think is going on?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  Maybe he suspected she was seeing someone. Maybe he was coming to terms with his feelings for her.

  ‘Danny, Penny’s my friend.’

  ‘I know, Eddie,’ he said, ‘that’s why I’m asking you for help, and not somebody else. Because you’re her friend … and mine.’

  My problem was I’d promised Frank and Colonel Parker that I’d take care of Elvis. Now Danny was asking for a favor, and he’d been my friend a lot longer than anyone.

  ‘OK, Danny,’ I said, ‘I’ll see what I can find out. But I might need your help.’ Putting him to work could keep his mind off Penny, and out of my way.

  ‘What do you need?’

  ‘I’ve agreed to do a favor for Frank,’ I said. ‘I’ll need you to cover me.’

  ‘What kind of trouble is he in now?’

  ‘No trouble,’ I said. ‘Elvis Presley is coming to town …’ I told him about my meetings with Entratter, Frank, and Colonel Parker.

  ‘So they want you to babysit the King of Rock and Roll.’

  ‘Pretty much.’

  ‘And he’s gonna have all these hangers-on around him?’

  ‘All the time.’

  ‘Why doesn’t Parker get rid of them?’ Danny asked. ‘Word is he controls Elvis.’

  ‘Not according to him,’ I said. ‘He says he’s in charge of the financial end, but that Elvis makes his own decisions otherwise.’

  ‘Interesting,’ Danny said. ‘When does he get here?’

  ‘Two or three days,’ I said. ‘I’ll have to check.’

  ‘And what do you want me to do? Sit on him?’

  ‘Just keep an eye on him,’ I said. ‘You know the kinds of places in town he shouldn’t go. The kinds of people he shouldn’t associate with. Part of the job will be to keep him out of the newspapers.’

  ‘And the other part is to keep him from goin’ off the deep end?’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘OK,’ he said. ‘You find out what’s goin’ on with Penny for me, and I’ll watch over the King for you. It’s a deal.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘We have a few days. Maybe I’ll find out what you want to know even before the King arrives.’